for the "Anonymous" comment under "HAMBURGER"

I think it's pretty spineless to leave comments under the name Anonymous that are hurtful and rude. With that said, I also want to "defend" my decision on how I reward my kids. (Although I really shouldn't have to and the posting wasn't about rewarding my kids with food.) My husband and I did NOT reward our daughters with food. We felt we were rewarding them with an experience. We don't eat out often at all. So going OUT to eat was the reward, not the hamburger. We could have done that at home (for a lot cheaper).... We were rewarding our children with our time and a chance to eat somewhere else. Dinner had to be eaten. And the girls deserved a token of our appreciation for their good grades. Since we can't afford to pay our children for their grades... we thought we could possibly reward them with an experience. So please, whoever you are, do not post under Anonymous again. And do not judge others. We didn't do what you thought....

STRIPES!

For 10 years I have avoided purchasing clothing with verticle stripes. I had heard (and frankly this is a true statement) that stripes make you look larger than you are! Last week, I changed my tune. I didn't have any sweaters (due to the fact that I've lived in Arizona or Nevada for the past 10 years) and I was freezing (due to the fact that Kentucky is colder). So I bought myself a sweater on sale. It had stripes, but I liked it! :-)

HAMBURGER

Both Kiara and Katia got straight A's on their report cards. We celebrated by eating out tonight. I ordered a kids meal at Back Yard Burger. And I only ate 1/2 of my hamburger... But it was delicious... soooo tasty! I sorta wished I could have eaten more. But at the same time, I'm glad my stomach won't allow me to eat more. Does that make sense?!

HALLOWEEN SMILES AND FUN

Our family tradition is to dress up the same every year for Halloween. It has been difficult for me (and more expensive) because I've always had to order plus size costumes. This year I fit into a "normal" one-size-fits-most costume! :-) Talk about exciting! And I think I looked good too!

NEW PICTURE....

Mom has been begging for a new picture of me... so here it is! :-) We went to the zoo and I had to pose with one of my favorite princesses. Belle is my favorite. Snow White is my second favorite.
Anyways, I'm now at 193 lbs! :-) I feel great. Although I'm still struggling with keeping my medications/vitamins/minerals down....

I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M UNDER 200 LPS!

When I first started thinking about weight loss surgery, I was morbidly obese, weighing in at 275 pounds. I could not walk from room to room without running out of breath. I had uncontrolled diabetes and mild sleep apnea. My health was deteriorating fast. I knew if I didn't loose weight fast, my health would go from bad to worse and maybe even early death.



On the day of my surgery, I had lost a small amount of weight and weighed in at 265.5 pounds. I had no idea how long it would take for ALL the weight to come off after the surgery.... I'm please to say that 4 months later I am over 75 lbs. lighter! Yesterday I weighed in at 197 pounds! I haven't been under 200 lbs in over 10 years! :-) I am super AMAZED and THRILLED with the results!!!!! :-) It's a happy day!

BOOK REVIEW

Women Food and God by Geneen Roth

I just read this book by Geneen Roth. It describes eating disorders, and in particular MY eating disorder, perfectly. I felt like she was quoting my brain at times. She says, "Every single person has a shtick with food." I was glad to know it wasn't just me. I also related to when she said, "Overeating was my way to punish and shame myself; each time I gained weight, each time I failed at a diet, I proved to myself that my deepest fear was true: I was pathetic and doomed and I didn't deserve to live." She goes on to say, "Dieting was like praying. It was a plaintive cry to whoever was listening: I know I'm fat. I know I'm ugly. I know I'm undisciplined, but see how hard I try. See how violently I restrict myself, deprive myself, punish myself. Surely there must be a reward for those who know how horrible they are."

But I really can't recommend this book. Geneen is definitely not LDS. She uses terrible language throughout her book that made me cringe. Partly because it was uncalled for and partly because I've been taught not to use that kind of language. Also, her view on God is not the same as mine.

Geneen Roth's view on God reminded me of something President Hinckley said in 2001. He quoted William Earnest Hemingway's poem "Invictus." (I thank whatever Gods may be for my unconquerable soul... I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul." Geneen Roth's view is exactly this. But President Hinckley goes on to quote another poem that is a response to "Invictus" by Orson F. Whitney. This poem takes into account the atonement. It is what I have used to help me through my struggles with food and obsession.... It says:

Art thou in truth? Then what of him
Who bought thee with his blood?
Who plunged into devouring seas
And snatched thee from the flood?

Free will is thine -- free agency,
To wield for right or wrong;
But thou must answer unto him
To whom all souls belong.

Bend to the dust that head "unbowed,"
Small part of life's great whole!
And see in him, and him alone,
The Captain of thy soul.

That's my testimony. That the atonement, love and focus on my Savior will help me to overcome my obsession with food. The surgery has helped. But it's not enough. I'm still struggling. I'm still learning. And I probably will always have to have this trial. But Heavenly Father loves and knows me. He has helped me (through angels here on earth too) to overcome my compulsion with food. I'm grateful to Him. I am grateful to the many "angels" who have supported me through this difficult, unhealthy time I have been in. God lives! The atonement happened! It happened to save us all, but also to save me from my dangerous attraction to food in my life!

SORE

Well, I'm starting a weight regimen. My exercise coaches at the weight loss center told me to do so starting two weeks ago. But I didn't take the time to learn how until yesterday. So I used 3 lb. weights and lifted for about 30 minutes. I learned the lingo. I did 2 "sets" of 8 "reps" each in 8 different "exercises." I'm not trying to bulk up, just be healthy and build some strength to fight fat. :-) Well, it wasn't too hard. And I felt good afterwards. Really good. Amy said I would probably feel sore today, but I didn't think anything of it until I woke up this morning aching. She was right. I'm sore. I'm aching. And I can only take Tylonal. Tomorrow I have to lift again. I guess I'll get stronger, but right now I'm just in pain....

4 MONTHS!

I've made it! It's been 4 months since my surgery! And now I am at liberty to eat what I want. I have no more restrictions on my diet! I can eat tomatoes now! And I can eat citrus fruits now too! I can eat a salad! I can have beef! I can eat pasta, bread and rice! :-) Of course, all in SMALL, SMALL, SMALL amounts. But it's still a monumental, exciting day! According to my nutritionist, my stomach pouch is now the size of a baseball/racquetball by now! :-)

The toughest part about my eating plan at this point is making sure that I don't migrate back to old habits.

Here are some of the basic fundamentals I need to remember and practice....

1. PROTEIN FIRST: Whenever I look down at the plate of food I have prepared, I should mentally identify the protein and eat three bites of it before eating anything else on my plate. My protein goal is 60-80 grams of protein per day. I need to eat fruits and vegetables next.

2. SNACKING: I should now eat three meals per day and two 100 calorie snacks throughout the day. Each snack should be protein rich or have lots of fiber. Some snacks could include: 2/3 cup low fat cottage cheese, 1/2 protein bar, 19 peanuts, 1 round laughing cow cheese, 1 medium apple, celery, 1 cup strawberries, etc.

3. WATER: This is the best, cheapest and most effective beverage anyone can drink. I need to drink at least 64 ounces a day. I drink A LOT more.

4. VITAMINS/MINERALS: Every gastric bypass patient needs to supplement their diet with vitamins and minerals or they can become anemic and malnourished. This is the most difficult for me. I often throw-up my supplements for no reason at all. It just depends on the day. I'm going to try taking non-chewable vitamins now and see if that helps.....

A NOTE ABOUT STARCHES: There are two types of starch I can choose to eat: Whole grains (whole wheat, brown rice, etc.) provide complex carbohydrates, where refined grains (white bread, white rice, pasta, things made from sugar) provide simple carbs. My best choice is the whole grain starches. When choosing to have straches, I need to limit the amount because they act as a sponge in the stomach and leave little room for proteins, fruits and vegetables. Starches should only be eaten 3-4 times per week.

So now you have the information that I have! Whether you wanted it or not! :-)

SMILES

I am feeling great! I've never had so much energy! Or at least, I don't remember ever having so much energy. I'm fitting into clothes I like. And I'm finally figuring out how to "listen" to my body. I'm not throwing up (at least not too often). And the only discomfort I seem to have anymore is constant burping if I eat the wrong thing or eat too fast or eat too much. But I'm not eating too much anymore... and I've learned, pretty much, which foods to avoid. :-) I'm really full of smiles! And, if I say so myself, I look good too! :-) I'm not skinny yet. But I feel and look better than I did 6 months ago! Life is good!